What Is This?

After yesterday’s family trauma and drama I am not being my
usual happy, joy, joy self.

I’m wondering what it would take to completely walk away from
my family. I’m not talking about my husband and children. I’m
talking about my parents and their family.

I have been running: “Who does this belong to? Return to sender
with consciousness attached.” “Whose Universe am I in?” Those are
creating a bit more space for me but what is really giving me ease
is my old faithful “What is this? What can I do with it? Can it be changed?
(Pause… is that a yes or a no? If YES then proceed) How do I change it?
What energy is required here?” This is just how I run it. I like having that
“What energy is required here” at the end.

What is it about family? What would I choose if I had no past?

Today I was in such a funk I missed a client call that I was really looking
forward to. How does it get any better than this? What else is possible?
What are the possibilities with this uncomfortableness?

I am not comfortable at all… not sure if that is coming across or not.

Just to get you up to speed my mother hasn’t been in contact with me
for days. That is fine. I am so good with that. It would have been nice
to have had a quick phone call or email to explain what was happening
with my aunt and why she was in jail. Instead of calling me she had a
lawyer friend of hers call me and ask me to fly out to California immediately
to look after everything while my aunt waited to be transferred to a special
hospital for paranoia. It came across as this would be a short term thing
and easy for me to do.

Last time I checked I have two teenage children, a husband and a business.

Besides, why would I be jumping for joy at being summoned by a lawyer to
go help someone that literally ran after me with a gun when I was seventeen?

What do I love about trauma and drama? What is this? What can I do with it? Can it be
changed? How do I change it? What energy is required here? What energy space and
consciousness can I be that would allow all of this to change?

Big Hugs,

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